This is the story of how Grampa Vulture came to be.

Hello, reader. Prepare yourself for a story of the most glorious creature to walk to face of this mortal planet. That's right, Grampa Vulture. Our story begins in Okivara, a puny nation that once existed directly south of Anderslavia. Shortly before Grampa Vulture's story began, Anderslavia had just declared war upon Okivara. After the Grey Army, Anderslavia's military force, conquered the first city of Okivara, a woman went to a stone cliff to mourn the loss of her children. Her tears rolled from her face and onto the stone. This simple liquid solution was the symbol of Okivaran misery. This was to be the instrument of Grampa Vulture's creation. The tears eroded away the stone, and out of it came the shape of a boy. The woman pulled the stone boy up, and she took him with her to the southern regions of Okivara that had yet to fall to the Anderslavian forces.
The woman looked at the stone boy, and she asked, "Do you speak my tongue?"
The boy replied, "I do."
The woman asked, "What is your name?"
The boy replied, "I have no name. I was formed of your tears back at the stone cliff. What do you wish to call me?"
The woman paused for a moment, and then she said "I will call you Poli." So, Poli was introduced to the people of Osoden, a city in southern Okivara. The woman told the people of Osoden what had happened at the cliff, and she said that she believed that he was sent by Kazemar to deliver Okivara from the Anderslavians. The woman raised Poli as her own child. She played with him, taught him, provided for him, but all of this was in vain. For she knew not that Poli had no heart. Kazemar had crafted Poli from misery for misery. What the Okivarans believed to be a blessing from Kazemar was actually his judgment, and they hadn't the slightest idea. Four years past, and Poli had grown to be thirteen krups tall. He was incredibly intelligent, fast, and strong, and the people of Okivara loved him. The war was still progressing, and there were but three Okivaran cities that remained free from Anderslavian control: Durri, Feldum, and Osoden. One dreadful morning, a man drove into town and gave Osoden an update on the war effort. Durri and Feldum had fallen. Poli's mother rushed home to tell him, but she could not find him. Finally, she checked an old shed that she thought hadn't been opened for twenty years. There stood Poli, working on a massive vehicle. It had wheels as tall as he was, and over ten rapid-fire cannons mounted onto it.
Poli turned to his mother and said, "Let them come. They will aswer to Poli." Poli climbed up into a control pannel ontop of the vehicle, and he drove the massive machine out to the city's front gate. He sat there, and he waited.
Finally, the watchman yelled, "They're coming! The greys are coming!" Poli started up the engines. People a mile away could hear the gears turning. The Anderslavians finally reached the gate, and they all froze when they saw Poli's device.
An audio device rose from the machine and Poli announced to everyone there, "Soldiers of the Grey Army, your forces will not conquer this town. You shall not deliver Osoden into the hands of Anderslavia! I will." Suddenly, Poli's machine turned back and opened fire. Massive projectiles of unknown material flew and pulverised Osoden's structures and people. After about half a klav's time of constant fire, Osoden was in ruins. Its people were dead, and its monuments had fallen.
Rising from the rubble, Poli's mother walked up to the massive machine, and she asked, "Poli, why?" Poli climbed out of the machine, drew his knife, and slit her throat. The Anderslavian soldiers entered the city, and General Hyx asked Poli, "What do they call you?"
Poli turned to the body of his mother, and he watched as a vulture plucked the flesh off her face. He turned back to Hyx, and he said, "I am the vulture of Kazemar." Thus ends the story of how Grampa Vulture came to be with the forces of Anderslavia. He's now a bat-shit crazy, senile, old man who takes craps in the Anderslavian cafeteria when the janitors aren't looking.

oooohhh, nice story

Marvelous.

And there we have an example of why we worship Kazemar. Also, the janitors shouldn't mind. If they tell your local Chickenlord Clone, and it will solve the problem.

Did you piss on her body?